Below is an excerpt from Matthew Suckling's column in The New Daily. For the full version visit their website.

Round three brings a match-up against my old side for the first time.

I’m very excited – and somewhat nervous.

My time so far at the Bulldogs has been as expected. I have enjoyed being part of a wonderful club with so many great people and I couldn’t have asked for a smoother transition.

At the start of pre-season, in late 2014 at Hawthorn, free agency wasn’t on my mind. I had won my first premiership just months before and I was focused on regaining fitness after minor knee surgery in the off-season.

Throughout that summer, several people asked if I would explore the prospect. I seriously didn’t think I’d leave Hawthorn. I was very happy and I had a great group of mates.

Leading into the 2015 season, I sat down with my manager and we decided that free agency talks would be put on hold until mid-season. I was focused on playing good footy.

But the morning before our huge Anzac Day game against Port Adelaide at Adelaide Oval, I woke to a missed call from Chris Fagan, the general manager of football operations at Hawthorn.

I called Chris back and he said an article had been written about me that speculated my management had received offers from other clubs, of which I was unaware.

We discussed the fact that holding talks would invite speculation and he asked if I was comfortable with that. I thought it would be fine.

‘I felt guilty’

I have always put a high price on my relationships with people and I remember feeling guilty that night, after talking to Chris.

I began to think about the ramifications of this speculation. I started asking myself questions like: What do the boys think of me? What about the coaches? Will the supporters understand?

I played poorly against Port Adelaide. And, for the next month, I struggled for form...