FOOTBALL IN GENERAL
What club did you support growing up?
I used to barrack for Essendon, because my godfather was a mad Essendon fan and he got me barracking for them in grade three after they won the premiership in 1993.
Using one word, how would you describe the life of an AFL footballer?
Strenuous.
What is your favourite team to play against and why?
Collingwood, because there's always a big crowd.
Is the game becoming too fast?
Not at all. There shouldn't be any rule changes. Ever. I like it the way it is, full stop, no rule changes, nothing needs to be done to it, end of story.
What is your favourite football memory?
Beating Collingwood in the elimination final in 2006 at the MCG in front of about 85,000 people.
What would you call the new Gold Coast and West Sydney team if you had naming power?
The Gold Coast Thoroughbreds and the West Sydney Pumas.
If you could be any other player, who would you be?
James Hird, because he's won a few premierships, he's won a Brownlow, he's retired, and he's a qualified engineer.
THE TEAM
Who's the most annoying player to room with when you go interstate, and why?
I normally room with Cam Wight or Dylan Addison, but I wouldn't want to room with Scott West because he's too intense.
What's the funniest prank any of your teammates have played on you?
My girlfriend had just got home from overseas and they knew that she'd just arrived at home and she was there waiting for me. I got in the car and drove home at a great pace. Then one of the assistant coaches, Alan Richardson, rang me to say that one of the players had got into a bit of strife and there was going to be a crisis meeting. So I turned the car around, even though I was five minutes from home and 15 minutes from the club. I drove back towards the club for 10 minutes and then they called me and said they were joking.
Who considers himself the most fashionable at the club?
I consider myself the most fashionable. I'm the only one who knows how to wear a suit. There are a lot of people wearing three-button suits that do up all three buttons, and that's just incompetent.
Who would be the most un-fashionable?
I have been put in this section a fair few times, but that's just because I have elements of individuality that my teammates won't ever be able to aspire to and therefore their envy shines through and they put me in there. But I think it's Adam Cooney – he has got the worst tracksuit pant and top collection in the world, and he wears them all the time.
Who's got the best singing voice?
Robert Murphy. He thinks he's a singer.
What's an amusing fact about one of your teammates that not many people know?
Jason Akermanis isn't a natural blonde. He's a redhead. He bleaches his hair.
If you had to pick one of your teammates to take on a date, who would it be?
I'm trying to think of someone who doesn't mind throwing the coin around, but there isn't many. I'd take Henry White so he can teach me how to count cards.
What's the funniest Rocket moment you can think of?
Apart from him picking his nose, his deafness can be funny. He's deaf in one ear and it's pretty funny when people try and talk into it and he can't hear, and he leans in and says, 'Hey? Hey? What?'
AT HOME
Who do you live with?
My girlfriend.
Who does the cooking?
I do the cooking. All of it.
How are you in the kitchen?
Brilliant.
If you were having Rodney Eade around for dinner, what would you cook?
I'd give him some crumbed flathead on polenta, and I'd do a self-saucing chocolate-orange cake for dessert. You'd have to give him something rich.
Who does the housework at your place?
I did a couple of hours on the weekend, so I'll say me.
What's your most used appliance?
My computer.
Do you have any pets?
Only the next-door neighbours' black cat. We feed it and let it in the house, but I think he's using a few of us in the neighbourhood.
What is your most annoying habit?
I tend to analyse everything.
RANDOM QUESTIONS
Are you generally a cat or dog person?
A dog person.
If you were stuck on a desert island, what three things would you want with you?
My saxophone, a fishing spear and snorkel. I'd build a desalinisation plant so I could drink the water.
What's your ideal holiday spot?
Europe. In Austria in the Alps, or at Oktoberfest.
What's your idea of a perfect day?
Listening to music, getting a massage and fine dining.
What action hero would you most like to be, and why?
I know he's not an action hero but I'd like to be James Bond.
What sort of car do you drive?
A Saab.
What's the most embarrassing song on your iPod?
I don't have an iPod. I disagree with them. They're hopeless, you can't transfer music from one iPod to another iPod and you can't upload from different computers. They're limited. My phone plays all my tunes, and the most embarrassing song I would have on my phone would be by the Brussels Jazz Orchestra. The song is called Touch Your Soft Lips And Part. It's a ballad.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the club.
